Daddy Wounds By the Numbers

One year ago I took a risk and started a blog for women with daddy wounds.   It was part exhilarating and part nerve wrecking as I put the intimate details of my life on the world wide web, but I’m so glad I did.  The response has been overwhelming.  

Women from all over the United States and a few other countries have visited and shared comments about the subject matter.  In light of my 1 year anniversary I thought it would be fitting to share some of the sobering data I have gathered from the women for whom this blog was created.  Their comments support four major reasons the Father Swap Blog exist.

Reason #1:  There Are Many Women With Unhealed Hurts From Their Father

Of the respondents on the survey, 71% consider themselves a fatherless daughter.   This sad reality communicates the father shaped vacuum that has remained empty for many of the respondents.  Although, 33% of the respondents are in the age range of 25 – 34 the ages of women surveyed are between 18 – 54.  This means many of the women have been carrying this pain throughout their lives:childhood, adolescence, and adulthood.

Jonetta Rose Barras, author of  “Whatever Happened to Daddy’s Little Girl?  The Impact of Fatherlessness on Black Women, succinctly describes this sorority of women.  “We are legions, a multicolored choir of wounded.  Nearly four out of every ten children in the United States live without their fathers in their homes; 50 percent of them are girls according to The National Fatherhood Initiative.” Barras’ quote reminds me that this reality is not uncommon, and unless dealt with, childhood hurts become adult wounds.  

Of the women surveyed, only 50% feel they have been able to heal from the wounds in their father daughter relationship.  40% of the women described their present relationship as distant and 35% do not have a relationship with their dad at all.   The Father Swap Blog seeks to help women heal from these hurts through encouragement, healing and practical wisdom.

Reason #2  There Are Similarities in the Causes of Fatherlessness

Rarely, does the subject matter of an absentee father come up in everyday conversation.  People generally remain on the safer surface layer of communication.  It is simply uncomfortable revealing some of the gory details of our family tree, especially when a father is:

Incarcerated

Addicted to Drugs or Alcohol

Physically or Verbally Abusive

or We Don’t Know Who He Is

But a survey is a safe place to say, “Me too.”  No one will judge you or feel sorry for you.  It is an opportunity for a woman to anonymously validate her story.  

I offered no free gift or Amazon raffle, just an opportunity to answer a few questions about their life’s story.  To my surprise women jumped at the opportunity to share the very personal and painful parts of their father daughter relationship.  Of the women surveyed 55% did not experience the love and affirmation of their biological fathers as a result of divorce or separation, 32% as a result of abandonment, 30% said their fathers were physically present yet emotionally absent and 27% experienced verbal abuse.  The Father Swap Blog purposes to provide a sense of community for women who grew up without the love and affirmation of their biological fathers.

Reason # 3 The Cycle Must Be Broken

Often when we look at the genealogy we see history repeating itself.  This was proven true in the results compiled from the survey.  The survey respondents indicated 29% of their mothers and fathers were not fathered and 6% of the respondents had children that were not fathered.  41% of the women surveyed were single and never married and of that number 35% indicated the relationship with the opposite sex is a major problem.  

No little girl dreams about being a single mom; it just happens: divorce, adultery, addiction, abandonment, death and abuse. Instantly, the fantasy of happily ever after suffers a serious blow – taking a little hope with it.  The aim of the Father Swap Blog is to provide women with practical wisdom to aid them in ending the cycle of fatherlessness.  

Reason # 4 Women With Daddy Wounds Are Turning to Christ

Above all other options, women are turning to Christ in search of healing.  66% of women said they have processed and found healing from Christianity.  I wholeheartedly agree, and believe,

 

If you find yourself represented in any one of these percentages know that your are not alone.  Many women are standing with you, I am one of them.  More than the support another woman can provide the Father Swap Blog wants every woman to know God offers so much more.  

He is the healing balm for the wounded and wholeness for the broken.  

 The cure for the ache in your soul is found in Him.

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