Why the Perfect Father Does Not Exist

As a product of the 80s my perfect family was the Huxtables.  Running for eight seasons the The Cosby Show portrayed a coveted view of family life.  They had it all – success, a clean house (Ahem),  laughter, and healthy family interactions.   

This differed from the single parent household I grew up in.  Consequently,  I learned a great deal about family from the show.  In fact, my concept of what a father should be was shaped by Heathcliff Huxtable.  

Secretly, I romanced the idea of one day having a relationship with my father that mirrored the one he had with his fictional kids.  My rose colored perspective was succinctly described by Iyanla Vanzant on Oprah’s Daddyless Daughter Life Class.  

She said,” . . .(When daddy wasn’t there) We fantasize about what it would have been like had daddy been there.  We fantasize about who daddy was, and usually he is not a scoundrel or a weasel.  He is this thing this great big hero thing that we missed. . . “

The fact that I’ve always been a glass half full dreamer didn’t help matters either.  It only served to further embellished the ongoing fairytale in my brain.  So as you can imagine, I was pretty optimistic when I decided to reach out to my father.

Freshman year of college I sent my dad a long letter detailing the events he’d missed.  I expressed a desire to have him in my life going forward.  From then on I continued to write letters and send pictures.  I called and  initiated outings with just the two of us.  Driven by the ache in my soul, I pursued my dad.

I did this well into adulthood until one day I realized, it wasn’t working.  My efforts could not transform my dad into the man I wanted him to be.  Although, our relationship improved tremendously during that time, it did not become the one I longed for.  

Accepting that truth was difficult.  It took me years to make peace with this reality.  That’s when I finally turned to God.  

My journey to see God as the perfect father was done reluctantly.  God wasn’t my first, second, or third choice;  He was my last resort.  Had I thoroughly researched his attributes, I would have come to the conclusion that God is the only father that is perfect 100% of the time.

.  Attributes of a Perfect Father

• Loving (Sacrificial) – John 3:16

• Disciplinarian – Proverbs 3: 11 – 12

• Caring – 1 Peter 5: 7

• Available – Psalms 139: 1 – 12

• Knowledgeable – Romans 11: 33 – 34

• Giving Matthew 7: 7 – 11

• Patient – 1 Corinthians 13 :4

• Encouraging – Philippians 4:13

• Loving (Unconditional) – 1 John 4: 8

• Not Easily Angered – 1 Corinthians 13 :5

• Selfless – John 15: 13

• Adoring – Psalms – 139: 13 – 18

• Optimistic –  1 Corinthians 13:7

• Protecting – 1 Corinthians 13 :7 , Psalms 46: 1

• Provider – Philippians 4: 19

• Courageous – 1 John 4: 18

• Strong – 2 Corinthians 12:9

 He cannot be limited by our comprehension of the word father because he supersedes every connotation of the word.

His character is unchanging.  

His love is unconditional.  

And his ways are incomprehensible.

Whether your father was good, horrible, or somewhere in between, God, our heavenly father is in a category all His own.  He is the BONAFIDE Rock that I have come to depend on.  If you, like me, have clung tightly to an imaginary dad, I encourage you to let go of your fantasy and embrace a real relationship with the almighty God.

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