Hope For Women With Father Wounds

“I don’t want you to die,” I mustered up the courage to say. My voice trembled as I held on to my last little bit of resolve to keep my emotions at bay. It didn’t work.

Hearing those words come out of my mouth ushered in a vulnerability I wasn’t prepared for. Death is difficult for me to talk about, especially when it’s in relation to someone I love. In this case, it was my uncle-cousin.

Biologically, he’s my second cousin, but he was raised as my mother’s brother. Throughout my life, he has modeled what it means to be a man, husband, and father. From him, I learned masculinity could be tough and no-nonsense, while still embracing a tender heart.

It was this heart that embraced me in ways I didn’t know I needed.

For a little girl raised in a single-parent household, his presence was priceless. In many ways, our relationship became a semblance of the one I longed to have with my own father. This is why the thought of his death gripped me with fear.

Tears, like rivers, streamed down my face as we discussed his declining health. My stubborn will wanted to resist the possibility that his life was coming to an end.

Without him as a father figure, I would be left with an inconsistent and difficult relationship with my earthly dad. Although I love my father, our relationship has been characterized by a series of devastating disappointments. I know my experience is not unique.

Countless women have been wounded by their relationships with their biological fathers. Often these wounds linger, leaving women with a gnawing ache for the love and affirmation of their fathers. I know this ache well.

For many years, I fumbled around looking for hope on the pages of Scripture, believing God had something to say to women who, by no fault of their own, experienced father wounds. My quest led me to discover that God has woven intentional hope throughout the Bible for women just like me.

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