4 Ways Any Daughter Can Honor Her Father

It’s been three years since I started writing for women with father wounds, and the stories  keep coming.  

“I am the result of an affair.”

“My father left my mother for another woman.”

“My father doesn’t know I exist.”

Most of what  I hear portrays fathers in a negative light.   Painfully, women recount the absence of their daddy and how his actions impacted their lives.  

And yet against this backdrop the Bible says,

“Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.”  Exodus 20:12 (NIV).  

But how can you honor a father that is seemingly not honorable?  Are there any extenuating circumstances where this commandment should be waived?

You and I both know the Bible does not make exceptions to this Old Testament command.  In fact the bar is raised even higher when Jesus says,

“‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. ’This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”   Matthew 22: 37 – 40 (NIV)

Our fathers also happen to be our neighbors; we are to love them in the same way that we love ourselves.  This impacts our treatment, care, and concern for them.  This is regardless of what he has done to us.

I recognize this can be a bitter pill to swallow; in some cases you may still be trying to process your father wounds.

The words he said and didn’t say

The events he missed

His addictions

His affair

You may be living with the negative ramifications of your father’s actions.  In light of all the possible challenges you may have faced, I am offering you some optional advice on how to go about honoring your father.  

These suggestions are practical and doable even with the most difficult father daughter relationship.  In an effort to honor your father I encourage you to try at least two suggestions on the list.

#1  Forgive Him

Forgiveness, simply put, is relinquishing our right to hold another person responsible for the wrong done to us.  

It is a choice.

It is not a dismissal of anything you’ve experienced.  Your story and your pain matter.  You may feel as though forgiveness would be allowing Him to get away with what he has done to you.  This may be especially true if he has yet to say, “I’m sorry” or to even acknowledge any wrongdoing.

Trust God to one day right every wrong.  He is sovereign and just.  The difficult truth is, forgiveness has nothing to do with the other person and everything to do us.  

We forgive because we have been forgiven.  Period. 

#2 Pray For Him

 Even if we have never met our fathers or are not on speaking terms, prayer is doable in every circumstance.  In prayer we can pray for the man God intends for him to be.  

A divine conversation with our heavenly Father can alter the trajectory of our earthly father’s life.

For some of us, we may be the only person willing to pray for him .  If this seems difficult, a practical suggestion would be to write your prayers out and read them.  Make a conscious decision to pray for propeciarxshop.com
his health, protection, and relationship with God.  In praying for Him God changes our heart too.

#3 Call Him

It doesn’t have to be long, but a phone call could be like medicine for our father’s heart.  By simply taking a few minutes to say, “I was thinking of you,” we can communicate love in a way he might not otherwise receive.  Even if all we talk about is the weather, a phone call can still communicate that we value him.

#4 Send Him a Picture

I started sending pictures to my father when I was in high school. Broke and unemployed, I began this practice by secretly taking a few pictures out of my mom’s photo albums.  I didn’t know if the images I sent him made a difference or not until I was an adult, nearly 10 years later.

Upon paying my father a visit one summer, I discovered that my efforts had impacted my father. Prior to entering his house I clearly remember questioning my dad’s love for me.  However, the moment I stepped inside his house I saw all of the pictures I had sent him through the years.

They were on walls, sitting on coffee tables, and on bookshelves.  The pictures I sent, weren’t stuck beneath some old papers.  They were proudly displayed for all to see.   

My minuscule attempt at honoring my father did matter.   

My efforts were not futile.  

 He sees us and knows what it cost to love unselfishly.  He did it first.

In His own way and time God will reward us for our obedience.  If you choose to intentionally honor your father, no matter how difficult, it will have a lasting impact on him and you will be blessed.

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