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Decision Making and God’s Will

“I’m going to marry him,” I told my puzzled and alarmed friend. After only one date, I was certain the man I described would one day become my husband. And I was right! Almost 2 years later we each said, “I do.”

There was no science or strategy behind my prediction. I heard no angelic chorus or audible voice of God. In fact, I was naive and unprepared to make such a life-altering choice. What I did have was a little information, an assortment of assumptions, some wise counsel, and a whole lot of prayer.

Before I jumped the broom, I was constantly storing up wisdom on marriage. Whether these nuggets came from books, one-on-one chats, or messages in church, I was eager to discover how to make a marriage last. I was a single woman who had grown up in a single parent household, so I wanted to learn as much information on marriage as I could get. This knowledge was used to create a mental list of characteristics and qualities I would look for in a husband.

When my now-husband made his nervous approach, I was thinking about my list. And as he talked on our first date, I noticed many of those desirable qualities. This is where my confidence came from while recapping the details of our date to my concerned friend.

More confidence came as I prayed. I prayed during our courtship, after he proposed, and all throughout our extended engagement period. One of the prayers I prayed, had a major impact on my decision making:

“Lord, if we aren’t ready to get married don’t allow us to.”

This was the prayer I prayed repeatedly. I knew my fragility from growing up without my father. I did not have the privilege of seeing marriage lived out. And I knew I was eager to couple up and could potentially be blinded to blazing red flags, so I gave God license to pump the brakes if needed. He did just that.

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